Alaska and Kansas Collide
by FersureZelda
Summary: Reality smacked me in the face as I watched the the hands of the clock quicken. It spun, out of control, making hours turn to seconds.I wanted to eat my words and thoughts up just then and keep them from escaping.. WHAT HAD I DONE?" - Inuyasha
1. The Anniversary of My Birth

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha, nor any place, brand, band, or label I may write about.

**Warning: **Not much yet, a bit vulgarity maybe, other than that. it's pretty safe.

**Note To Past Readers:**Just to clear things up, this story has been reposted with different characters due to the Kingdom Hearts popularity has pretty much died out. For those of you already reading this story, no worries.. a brand new chapter is soon to come. Sorry about that, I'm just trying to gain back readers. :

* * *

**Chapter One: **

**The Anniversary of My Birth**

* * *

I lay in bed.

Staring at the clock, I can't seem to keep my breathing straight.

You'd think that something that has come so naturally for the past years would be a breeze.

Maybe if I grab a paper bag and heave heavily into it like they do in the movies, I'll eventually calm down.

**11**:**5**9 s**t**rolls ar_o_**un**d..

This is getting ridiculous.

It's not like I'm going to grow a mustache in the next minute, is it?

Maybe if I'm lucky, I'll get a goatee. God, that's disgusting.

I need to get over this.

Why am I still awake anyway?

Do I really need to put myself through the torment hours in advance?

Ten more seconds and it's...

**1**2:_**0**_0 **A.**M.

I cannot say that anything changed.

It's absurd that even for a moment I believed it would.

I am officially of legal age.

My name is Inuyasha and I am eighteen years old.

My skin has not molted nor decayed.

I am completely the same.

My heartbeat begins to slow down,

as if I switched off the button in my adrenaline filled brain

and am no longer consuming double-dose intakes.

As I start drifting off,

my head starts creating circular motions in attempt to stay awake.

I feel my eyelids betray me as I..

**lo**_s__e_ **co**n_s_c**io**usne_s_**s** a**lt**o_g_e**th**er.

_Together_ - such a peculiar word.

It's one of those words that if you look too closely,

you'll begin to not recognize... as if it was a foreign language.

It's definition consists of adjectives that describe objects or persons in a group.

Yet, do you ever consider the pretense of such a word?

Nothing is made to last in the confines of _forever_...

**I** k**n**o_**w**_ **t**ha_t_ **f**o**r** _**a**_ f_ac_**t**.

You don't believe me do you?

Okay, I'll dumb it down for you.

Maybe if I talk in slow-motion, it'll finally click.

I'll even make my voice sound like a broken tape player before the film tears off.

Trust me... I know what I'm talking about.

I wrote a book about this.

The pages are not color filled with fairytale endings and cliches.

No, it's about a teenage whirlwind tainted with...

n**ai**_v_e c**h**_ar_**ac**te_rs_ **a**_n_**d** s**u**p_pr__e_**ss**e_**d**_ th**o**_u__g_**ht**s.

It started off with the two of us, Kikyo and I.

She was the beautiful best friend I grew up with;

I was the boy she couldn't take her eyes off of.

Dating just seemed so convenient,

after all, we were the only thing each other had.

Yet time weathered by,

leaves decayed on my front porch and things changed.

**W**_e_ _g_**r**_**e**_w ap_a_**r**_t_.

She told me we out-grew one another;

that we no longer complimented each other,

as if I were simply a piece of furniture in her house.

I'm making her sound awfully rude, but I guess I just felt hurt.

Alas, we took our separate paths

and kept following this twisted labyrinth filled with it's share of rocks and ditches.

_**N**__o_**w, t**_h_re_e_ _y_**ear**s _h_a**v**e _pa_**st**e_d_ _b_**y**.

I remember wishing that I only had to walk a few inches on that dusty map to get to where she was.

Too bad I can't just shrivel up the land, take a few steps,

and get to where she stands.

It's pathetic how much I yearn to find my lost television remote so I can..

_r__**e**_w_**i**__n_d **m**_y _life b**ac**_k_.

_You never stay with your high school sweetheart,_

at least that's what I was told.

I always thought we would prove them wrong,

but I guess I was mistaken.

After all, she's Kansas.. I'm Alaska;

it's obvious our climates never matched.

Today is 18 years after the day of my birth and like changing clothing in a moving car,

life continued and we now differ in appearance.. as well as in the inside.

Yet, I still wonder...

**wh**_at_ w_ou_l**d** h**a**p_p__e_n _i_**f **o_ur_ l**iv**_e_s **c**_olli_d**e**?

* * *

**Note to Reader: The first chapter is kind of sort, but the next to come will indeed be longer. **

**READ AND REVIEW PLEASE!**

P.S. For other great stories check out the profile of InuyashasPerfection, their pretty grand.


	2. I Hate Television

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha, nor any place, brand, band, or label I may write about.

**Warning: **Not much yet, a bit vulgarity maybe, other than that. it's pretty safe.

**Note To Past Readers:** Just to clear things up, this story has been reposted with different characters due to the Kingdom Hearts popularity has pretty much died out. For those of you already reading this story, no worries.. a brand new chapter is soon to come. Sorry about that, I'm just trying to gain back readers.

* * *

**Chapter 2: **

**I Hate Television**

* * *

**S**_na_pp_**i**__**n**_g b_a_**c**k _t_o _r__**e**_**a**lit_y_...

I wake from the wary world of sleep.

It still astounds me how this thing has such an immense hold on me.

Like a chain linked to my arm, I cannot escape the phase.

Awake throughout the day, gone into the depths of a surreal memory by night.

Most kids, they cannot get enough of it.

They use the lovely drug of unconsciousness as a shelter.

Sleep is what they _use... _

**t**_o_ fo**r**_**g**__e_t w_h__**a**_**t** _is _o_**n**_ th_e_i**r** _mi_**n**d.

I guess you can say that an idea like that tends to back fire on a kid like me.

Instead of an escape latch,

it tends to turn into the very thing I'm running from.

I dream of her every time I fall into sleep.

I spent my whole life with this girl, I guess it's obvious she left her mark.

Yet, whatever, it's not like any of that matters now...

_do_**e**_**s**_ i_t__**?**_

The phone rings,

I stumble up from my bed to the old dresser where my phone is located.

_"Hello,"_

my skin feels numb from crushing my face

into the wall next to my mattress to keep me from absorbing sunlight.

"Hey, it's mom, 

I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to be working over time,

so I left you a box of Pizza Rolls on the counter."

_**"**__Y__e__**s**__, __**m**__a'__**a**__m."_

I wonder what ever happened to mothers leaving notes on refrigerator doors?

Apparently, mine never got the memo.

Maybe I should put a sticky-note on her mirror.. so she'll have a head's up next time;

along with a _remember-it's-your-son's-birthday_ reminder next to it.

Oh well, I'm already over it.

At least she left me that lovely cuisine of frozen pizza for me to digest.

How would I live without that?

Maybe I'd lack...

_**a**_ p_o_**is**_on_ed _s__**t**_**om**_ac_h, _t_**h**_a_t's _h__**o**_**w**.

I flip through the the television channels.

There's some kiddy shows on,

and this disgusting reality show that no one in their right mind would watch.

It's the typical MTV program that features the "reality" of how people date.

You know, the show that is rated for all ages,

but censors out extreme boobage after the girls had a little too much to drink.

Yeah, it's that show...

_s_o _**p**_**ar**do_n_ _m_**e** if **I** d_o_**n**'_t_ w_a_n**t **t_o_ _w__at_**c**h **i**_**t**_.

I grab a poptart and head out the door.

There must be _something_ better to do than this.

As I walk out of the house, I consider my options.

I could: spend my day enjoying a book at the local library,

_or _I could walk around town aimlessly and fall behind in English class.

It shouldn't take a math teacher calculating probability

to figure out what I chose to do,

an if it does, then you're obviously...

no_**t**_ t**h**_a__t_ **b**_ri_gh**t**.

"Hey, Inuyasha!" I overhear someone say.

I look over to the figure walking next to me. It's Kagome.

She's dressed in cut-off jeans and a black Tokio Hotel tee shirt.

_"My dearest Kagome, what are you up to?"_

She smirks, obviously pleased with my witty response.

"Oh, you know, the same as you, dear; 

only I am not trying to hit on girls for the luxury of entertainment_."_

_"But what else am I suppose to do in a town like this?"_

I watch as she makes a...

_d_**e**_**f**__o_rmi_t_y _w_**it**h **h**_e_r f_a__**c**_e.

_"Why, you look so elegant, Kagome."_

"Don't I?" We laugh at her bizarre way of putting a smile on my face.

She flips her hair and blows a bubble with the chewing substance in her mouth.

A strand of her beautiful hair gets stuck.

She pulls it out and throws her gum on the concrete.

We keep walking and she...

_wr_**a**_p_s _**h**_er **fi**ng_**e**_**r**s _i_**n** _m_**y** _ha_n**d**.

As we turn the corner and walk toward her house,

I feel her whole body tense up.

She jerks my arm without warning and starts walking a different direction_. _

_"What's wrong?"_

Her nose scrunches up just a little bit,

that cute way she does when she feels she must lie.

"I just forgot to pick up something from the store."

I study her face.

That fun, loving attitude is slowing draining from her lips, but...

**w**h_a__t _c_**o**_**u**l_d_ s_h__**e**_ b**e** hi**d**i_n_**g**?

I decide to let it go;

she'll tell me when she's ready.

I poke her cheeks softly, where her dimples seem to hide.

She smiles and sure enough,

those small valleys inhabiting her face reveal themselves.

Her eyes peer at me intensely and her expression suddenly turns serious once more.

"Inuyasha, what do you think of me?"

_"Well.. I think you're improper and clumsy._

_You have a hint of vulgarity in you, and your nose scrunches when you lie._

_Yet, I love you for those reasons and more."_

_**T**__e__a_rs **f**_o__**r**_m _i_n **h**_**e**__r_ ey**e**_s_...

"Why do you say that? I've never measured up, you know?

I am not.. Kikyo."

The name caught me off guard, yet still, I continued.

_"Is this what this is about?_

_Love, I don't want you to be anything like her._

_You're special for what you already are. Please don't think otherwise."_

"Are you certain of this?

After all, she had your heart first, not I."

W**h**_a_t m_u__s_**t** s_h_e **b**_e_ thi**n**_k_i**n**_g_?

_"Positive, she is not a concern of mine anymore._

_I love you and no one else."_

She closes her eyes and kisses me lightly.

"Thank you for that."

I walk her home,

and leave her at the front door after I am sure that she is really okay.

As I start walking back to my own house, I review everything that happened in my mind.

I play it again and again...

only to be cursed with the confusion of a fuzzy screen.

Damn messed up tracking...

I _**h**__at__**e**_ t**el**ev_is_io**n**.

Yet, I still don't get it.

Why would she bring Kikyo up now?

It's true, she was who I fell for throughout my reckless years of young age,

but she's _gone_.

She moved away with her father the day that the incident happened,

and never in my thoughts would I imagine her moving back.

I keep walking and as I reach my house,

I see someone sitting on the footsteps.

"Happy Birthday, Inuyasha," the girl calls out.

**T**_**h**__i_s _c_**a**n'**t** _b_**e..**

* * *

**What do you think? Please REVIEW!**


	3. Cookie Dough Bites

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha, nor any place, brand, band, or label I may write about.

**Warning: **Not much yet, a bit vulgarity maybe, other than that. it's pretty safe.

**Note To Past Readers:** It's completely NEW work. Enjoy.

* * *

**Chapter 3: **

**Cookie Dough.. Bites**

* * *

I stood there.

Frozen in place, like a deer

that had just encountered a speeding car heading directly its way.

I felt paralyzed.

I bet my heart even stopped, expecting to sound its alarm

alerting a stroke.. a heart-attack...

_a_ d_**is**_rupti**o**_n_ to _**m**_y br**a****i**_n_.

"Inuyasha, are you okay?"

I take a deep breath..

_"Uh, yeah, sorry."_

After my blood starts pulsing back through my veins,

and I take hold of myself once more..

a huge grin takes over my face.

I take her in my arms, fuck if I care what she thinks of my actions.

All I know is..

M**y** in_**si**__de_s **y**ear**n** f_or_ t**hi**s.

She giggles.

"I missed you, too. My parents moved back. Can you believe it?"

I listen to her smooth, soft voice and remember what I had missed so much before.

I crave to take it in, put my lips to hers, and steal it for myself.

Darling, I'll throw out the rule book, so please..

c_a_**n** I _t__**a**_**k**e y_o_ur b**r**_**e**__a_t**h** a_wa_**y**?

God, I could write a romance novel..

with these thoughts and words tangled in my head.

It's really quite disgusting. This hidden talent is used to pick up old women,

not normally used for teenage kids.

So, I try to push it aside. I don't want to sound like a freak.

'Can I take your breath away?' - please, I practically sound like..

a p**sych**_ot_ic _m_**a**ss _m_**ur**d_er_e**r**!

"You're so quite.

Not the Inuyasha I recall."

I smirk.

_"Kikyo, there's nothing to worry about,_

_I'm still here. I'm still the same."_

"Well, that's a relief! You had me worried!

So tell me, how has everyone been? Is Sango still with that... perve?"

_"Yes, she's still with Miroku._

_Everyone seems the same to me, but then again,_

_**I **__m_ight _h_**a****v**_e__ gr__**o**_w_n a_**n**d _ch__**a**__n_ge_**d **_wi_**t**__h t__**h**_em a**s** w_**el**__l"_

We talked,

caught up on everything each other may have missed.

Hours went by of us sitting on my front porch, not even entering the house.

I could do this for eternity, I thought.

Maybe if I go inside, just for a second, I could..

break every clock in the house in two.

Can I stop time?

.. I c_**ou**_ld t**r**_y_.

Still, it didn't work. No, not at all.

Reality smacked me in the face as I watched the the hands of the clock quicken,

instead of stopping all together.

It spun, out of control, making hours turn to seconds..

I wanted to eat my words and thoughts up just then and keep them from escaping.

.. I _s__**u**_**r**ely **m**us_t_ h_**a**_ve j_y_**nx**e_**d**_ m_y_sel**f**!

There was no stopping it.

I watched the world before me keep going,

as if it were mocking me for ever thinking I could possibly take things into my own hands.

I sat there and the story unraveled;

there was nothing I could do, other than to watch it unfold.

I looked as a girl walked by

and a strand of her beautiful black hair was clinging to her cheekbone

by the salty water streaming down her face.

_W_h**a****t **t_h_**e** _f_uc**k** h_av_**e** I **d****o**ne?

Kagome had seen us the whole time.

Sure, I didn't technically do anything that would have been wrong of me to do,

but still, she saw.

Her eyes watched mine, and she knew all she had to know;

Those eyes of mine gave me away.

They admitted guilt and held the clarity and truth she had desperately tried to push aside.

I still loved Kikyo;

this girl that stood before me knew this,

after all she had always been able to tell every smile and every thought that ever crossed my mind.

**T**hi**s** lo_ve_ly **K**_**a**__go_me _kn_e**w** _m_e al**l** **t**_o_o _**w**__**e**_ll.

So tell me, what do you do when the past comes back and haunts you?

I had put it all behind,

yet still, she's back and I can't keep myself from feeling this way.

Is it really my fault?

What the fuck should I do now?

I can't seem to keep my head straight with all this to think about

and so little time to do it.

_Kikyo_ is whom I share a past with,

y_e__a_**r**s _of_ **m**_**e**__m_**o**_rie_**s** an_**d**_ l**i**fe l**es**so**n**s we **en**d_u_re_**d**_.

I could have never made it out without her, she's who made me into who I am now.

But still, there's _Kagome_.

She's so imperfect, it's gorgeous.

She pulled out the duck tape, and mended my pieces back together.

A dilemma like this could..

break me if I make the wrong choice.

Ennie. **Meanie.** _Miney__._ _**Mo**_. Here. **It**_._ _Fucking__._ _**Goes.**_

I looked over to the girl with the teary eyes.

She'd always been so skilled at hiding any sign of vulnerability and such emotion.

Yet, her human body had failed her.

I could see the hurt I had caused her and it killed me.

The guilt inside my lungs ate me alive.

like lung cancer that I couldn't excape.. I had to breathe the words out.

"I _**ca**_n't **d**_o_ th_i__**s**_."

I guess sweet things come with a price.

Eating too much chocolate will only make you sick to your stomach.

My life is no different.

Kagome _and_ Kikyo.. it's too much to fucking take in.

Want to know a secret?

I should've listened to what my mother told me when I was little..

Too much cookie dough...

**b**i**t**_**e**_s.

* * *

**I'm not ashamed to admit it.. I have ZERO reviews at this time. **

**I need some feedback guys; Good.. bad.. whatever.**

**REVIEW IT, PLEASE?**


	4. I Think the Sky is Broken

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha, nor any place, brand, band, or label I may write about.

**Warning: **Not much yet, a bit vulgarity maybe, other than that. it's pretty safe.

* * *

**Chapter 4:**

**I Think the Sky is Broken.**

* * *

Dear Diary,

How could I have been so blind?

No, I cannot say that. That'd be a lie.

My eyes were fully functioning during every second in time.

I saw it all.

**...** At l_e__**as**_**t, a**_ll_ **I** _ne__**e**_**d**_e_d **t****o****.**

I saw how he looked at her.

And, pardon me, but that smile was nowhere near fictitious, either.

Inuyasha loves Kikyo.

End of story.

So please, do me a favor and...

Close the book now, it's not going to get any better from this point on.

Or perhaps,

you're one of those angst kids..

that's simply yearning for blood, gore, and human pain,

then well,

_y__**o**_**u****'**ve c**o**_me_ **t**_**o**_ t_h_**e r**_**i**__g__h_t **pl**_**a**_ce.

After all, my heart seems to be on fire...

and it's only a little after 1:00.

I guess you could say, I have a head start on the day.

Who would have known, right?

I woke up glowing with every emotion I felt.

I would see Inuyasha, and the summer would repeat itself like it had for the past 3 years.

I'd laugh.

He'd smirk.

W_**e**__**'d **__k__**i**_**s**s u**nd**er t_h_e **bea**u_tif_**u**l c**l**_**ou**_ds.

I'd play with his fingers.

He'd nibble on my throat.

Secret be told - my sinning mattered nothing at all.

No regrets, no sorrow...

until now,

when she came and crashed down every illusion I had.

**I** _h__**a**__d _s_e__**e**_**n** h**e**r **e**_a__**r**_**li**er, at th**e** l_o_**cal** K-**Ma**_rt_.

She was with her mother, the two look so alike..

so, gorgeous and flawless, it made my insides want to gag.

Perhaps, I sound a bit rude,

and trust me

I never meant to be...

but, how can I not after what I knew would soon unfold?

I knew once he set eyes on her my world would crash.

She was perfection,

I was flawed.

**T**here w_a_s _**n**_**o** **d**_**e**__n__yi_ng **I** _wo_uld b**e** _**t**_**h**e o**ne** t_o_ l**o****s**_e__._

I have no hidden talents.

My voice cracks into a hideous sound when I cry,

and I wasn't the one that was with him the day his father died.

Measure up?

Darling, pull out the yard stick...

it**'s** _just_ **a**no_t_h**er** _g_**am**e s_he_ c_**a**_**n **b_ea_t **m**_**e**_ at.

So, yeah...

I knew she had come back.

My heartbeat soon started ticking down the time I would collapse.

Then I saw him,

roaming the street like it was any other day.

So I pushed it aside and did my best to forget her existence.

**I**t **w****a**s _as_ if she **wa**_sn_'t t_h__**e**_**re**;

we held hands and kissed under those beautiful clouds.

Still, I couldn't make it last forever...

no excuse could make him stay by my side for a lifetime.

And so,

our hands let go...

and he walked away.

It wasn't even ten minutes later that I went back up to his home;

I wanted to share one last meaningful kiss,

before I had to say goodbye to him forever...

but that didn't happen.

**Sh****e**_wa_s t**he**_re_ be**fo**re **I **_wa_s.

As if she had picked up his scent, the moment she stepped foot in this town.

Click, Clock...

the spell was broken;

the moments we spent frozen in time these past three summers was surely behind us.

Surely, he'd take her back like she had never left his side.

And so the moment came...

he's eyes were full of guilt, like I had just caught him robbing a bank.

Handcuffs?

Time in prison?

**N**o **s**_ir_, **I** _w_as _n__**o**_**t** _go_ing **t**_**o **_t_**a**_ke v_e__**n**_**g**ea_n__**c**_**e**.

Truth be told, I am not one of those girls you see on T.V.

Sorry, I'm not a Degrassi character salvaging for dirt and drama.

What did I do?

I fucking lost it.

My eyes leaked like a broken rooftop,

damaging all my insides and what was left of my composer.

Again, she had the upper hand, nonetheless.

After all, why would he want the girl he faced now,

t_he_ _**o**_**n**e wi_th_ t_**h**__e_ r**u**_n_ny no_se_ **a**nd _m_**ake**-_u_p, **col**_**o**__r_ed e_y_**es**?

The Inuyasha I had shared every thought with,

would soon find a secret of mine he just may not like.

I felt ridiculous.

Why did I feel like a monster had just bitten my heart?

I mean, deep down, I knew it was going to happen the moment I laid eyes on her,

so why did it phase me so much?

I felt my throat go dry and then it began.

**I**

S**tar**t_e_d

R_un_nin**g.**

More than I had ever in any high school gym course.

I could have very well aced the class at the rate I was going.

Still, something quite astonishing happened that made me hesitate and fall.

I turned to look back,

and he had chased me down to my very home.

_"Inuyasha?"_

"Hey, Doll."

_"Maybe I sound idiotic, but I don't understand at all."_

"That makes two of us."

**I** did_n't_ k**n****o**w w_h_at **to** th_ink_ of _**hi**_**s** **r**es_p__**o**_**n**se.

Did he love me, or did he love her?

And so, we just sat there on the concrete sidewalk not speaking for moments at a time.

Maybe he didn't have an answer.

Perhaps, silence was all he could give either of us in return.

So we sat.

We didn't kiss under the beautiful clouds.

I think, for the first time since its existence...

**th**_e_ sky **w**_as _br**ok****e**n.


	5. Maybe, My Heart is Not Robotic

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Inuyasha, nor any place, brand, band, series, or label I may write about.

**Warning: **Not much yet, a bit vulgarity maybe, other than that. it's pretty safe.

* * *

**Chapter 5:**

**So Maybe, My Heart is Not Robotic.**

* * *

I'm in love with a boy.

He's my best friend, the only thing that really matters to me.

Inuyasha.

He's sitting right across from me.

His silver hair lays tangled.

I don't think he has rummaged through it in days.

He's such a mess.

**I **w_**o**__n__de_r w_**ha**_t i_s_ _g_oi**n**_**g**_ t_hr_o**ugh** _h_**is** m_in_d?

I could only guess.

Kikyo.

I suppose I cannot complain though.

He's here. He's by my side and not hers. He chose me himself.

Still I sometimes wonder.

Oh, how much time I have to wonder in this silence.

**D**_**o**__e_s h_**e**_ r_e__**g**_ret t_h_**is?**

I tried.

I tried so hard to make him happy.

My insides chimed like church bells every time he spoke.

I did everything I could to make him forget her, to make him love me.

Did it work?

I don't think so.

I wanted it so bad, though. I guess I let myself believe we were alright.

That it'd last forever.

_**Oh**_, ho_w_ **na**_i__v_e **I** _**m**__u_st h**a**_**v**__e_ lo**ok**ed**!**

Three days have passed and I still don't know what to think.

I don't even think he knows.

Time stopped.

Darling, please tell me...

When will it start up again?

I feel frozen in place, like the days just keep repeating themselves over and over again.

A reoccurring dream?

Maybe I'm just dreaming.

**Go**d, ho_**w**_ **I** h_o__**p**_**e** t_h_is **ni**_**g**__h_**tm**are **is **ju_**s**_t a _**dr**_e_a__**m**_!

He sits and we talk..

about hardly anything at all.

What happened?

We must have come unplugged from the stained outlet on the wall.

How else can this be explained?

There is no static.

**N**o _c__**o**__n_n**ec**t_io_**n.**

Nothing at all, except Jolly Rancher and Pixie Stick wrappers.

Material items, nonetheless.

Maybe if I eat enough pixie dust, I can make the scene change behind the curtains.

Sour Apple.

Strawberry.

I'll need something sweeter than that to wish this all away.

"I have to go now, bye."

**My **th_oug__**h**__t_s ar**e** int**err**up_t_**ed** by **h**is **vo**_ic_**e.**

"_Yeah, um, later."_

And so he walks out the door, maybe even off to see her.

What a productive day we have had here.

We have accomplished another day of breathing air and disgusting junk food.

There's got than more to this.

I practically feel like I'm killing him from the inside out.

**Sh**ou_l_d _I_ j_u_**st** gi**ve** _i_n**?**

Maybe I should just tell him that it's okay if he chooses her.

That is what he wants anyway, isn't it?

_Let go, Kagome._

_Stop being so damn selfish._

_Can't you see?_

_You're clinging like a magnet._

_**It'**__s__ ti__**m**__e_ _t_**o** _l__et_

_**Go.**_

My thoughts run wild.

It's almost like they are speaking to me.

Am I going crazy?

No.

It's nothing of the sort.

I guess I'm just overwhelmed, that's all.

I can't seem to come up a solution to all of this, a game plan.

What should I do?

I was never good at sports, let alone leading a team.

What team?

**I **_**gu**_**e**ss it_'s_ **j**_u__**s**_**t** m_e_.

Maybe that's how it should have been along.

I wasn't destined to be part of whole or anything of the sort,

No.. not in sports, definitely not in this.

All that's left now to decide is..

How should I do this?

Should I lay it all out, bluntly, directly to the point?

Or should I give him an excuse, a lie.. make him think it was by my own choice?

I..

**bec**a_m_e alle_**rg**_ic t_o_ _**t**__h_**e** _ma__**l**_**e** _sp_**e**_**c**_ie**s**, **s**o**rry**.

Hmm... maybe, not.

And so, I get off my bed.

I've been staring at the ceiling for hours, my neck hurts.

As I think through all my options, I try to be as mechanic as possible.

Computers and calculators, they all respond with no emotion.

That's what I must do,

**c**_**a**__r_ry on _wi__**t**_**h**ou_t _a **fe**ar _o_r t_e_**ar**.

After all, I cannot go near him and phase into a human being before his eyes.

I'll appear too depressed, too...

lost.

I want him to think it means nothing.

I want to mimic that face he carries when he walks up my drive.

Yeah, I know it's hurting him.

That's why I am so determined to make it stop.

**I'l**l d_o_ w**h**_**a**__t_ I **h**_a__**v**_**e** to.

Even if I lose myself in the process.

I grab my cell.

Dial his number.

And flip off that switch... that makes the human in me come out.

"Hello?"

"_Hi, Inuyasha."_

"Hey there, what's up?

A lump in my throat formed the second his voice went through the telephone speaker.

**I **_c__an_ d**o** _**thi**_s. I _**must**_**.**

"Hey, you there?"

I took a deep breath, although it didn't seem to help.

I felt myself hyperventilating.

I couldn't breathe. I lost my breath, the fear monster must have stole it.

I felt the world around me swirl and darken.

What was happening?

**I **fe**lt** lik**e** _I_ **h**_ad_ s_n__e_**ez**_e_d.

My eyes were shut in an instant.

And my breath was gone for a moment.

The only difference, was that I didn't feel my senses coming back.

I was gone.

"Kagome! What's going on?

Did I hear you fall? Listen, don't move...

I'm calling for help.

Stay with me."

"_Yeah, sure,"_ I thought.

As I lied there, I reviewed what just happened in my head.

My legs, my arms. They didn't move.

I guess it was too much to take in, I must have passed out.

**Ma**y_be_ my **he**_a__**r**_**t **is **n**_o_t rob_**oti**_**c.**


	6. Hide & Seek and Disguises

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor any place, brand, band, series, or label I may write about.**

**Warning: **Not much yet, a bit vulgarity maybe, other than that. it's pretty safe.

* * *

_**Chapter 5 Recap:**_

* * *

**I **fe**lt** lik**e** _I_ **h**_ad_ s_n__e_**ez**_e_d.

My eyes were shut in an instant.

And my breath was gone for a moment.

The only difference was that I didn't feel my senses coming back.

I was gone.

"Kagome! What's going on?

Did I hear you fall? Listen, don't move...

I'm calling for help.

Stay with me."

"_Yeah, sure,"_ I thought.

As I lied there, I reviewed what just happened in my head.

My legs, my arms. They didn't move.

I guess it was too much to take in, I must have passed out.

**Ma**y_be_ my **he**_a__**r**_**t **is **n**_o_t rob_**oti**_**c.**

* * *

**Chapter 6:**

* * *

My eyes opened.

I don't know how much time has passed.

Inuyasha?

Fuck, I better call him, he probably thinks I'm dead!

My fingers push down seven digits,

the numbers are worn off, regardless of it being a new phone.

"Kagome? What's up?"

_"I'm okay, just wanted you to know."_

"Well, I'm glad to here, but from what?

I just left your house."

_"What'd you mean? I called you, don't you remember?"_

"Kagome, are you okay?"

_"Um, yeah, it's nothing." _

Fuck, it must have all been a dream!

A sigh of relief passes through me only to be awakened by terror.

I start to sympathize with the classic coma patient;

I can't imagine what it would be like to be launched into a world of fake fairies and inexistance,

to live in your own mind;

only to be thrown into the real world with a simple eye movement.

M**a**y**be** _a_ c_om_a w**ou**ld h_av_**e** **b**_e_en **m**_**u**__c_h b**e**tt_**er**_,

because, after all, I CAN imagine what it would be like, and it'd be better than this damn confrontation!

I have to tell him, for real this time.

I'm too frightened to call him,

perhaps the dream was a sign, an omen I should take into consideration.

Like Jesus was actually looking out for me so I wouldn't make such a fool of myself;

next time he steps foot on this Earth,

**I'**ll _h__**a**__v__e _to _**rem**__e__mb__**er**_ t_o _**b****u**_y_ him **a**n ic**e** **cre**_a_m _c__o_**n**_e_.

So, phone calls are definitely not an option.

And, I'm pretty sure I'm not going to his house to talk to him and miss Kikyo about this.

I guess I'll have to write.

The idea sounds almost absurd,

nobody does that anymore, not since cell phones and IM came about;

but it's really my only option.

Last time I checked, my mom would rather max out her credit on clothes to impress _Leon,_

than buy us a very needed computer.

I walk over to my desk and rummage for some notebook paper.

_"Dear Inuyasha,"_

_.//**S**CRAT**CH** TH**AT**//._

_"Inuyasha,_

_I pretty much hate this. _

_I hear loud ringing in my ears from the silence that seems to have this grasp hold on us._

_It's smothering me. I feel like you might as well be a hundred miles away, because I can't feel you near me._

_This.. thing,_

_it's tearing me apart._

_I can't share you, sorry. And I'm pretty sure she deserves you more than me. _

_You want her more than me._

_I'm not that pretty, you know, underneath the makeup.. I'm pretty much a mess._

_Let's face it, honest to God, I'm a train wreck and there's no reason for you to waste your time._

_I understand._

_So, doll face, it's okay for you to just leave. _

_Sure, I'll be hurt but I'll get your reasoning. Just forget that we happened and I promise I won't hate you._

_You mean the world to me, but that's okay."_

_//.S**CR**ATC**H** TH**AT**//._

_"Inuyasha, _

_I'm breaking up with you._

_Sorry. I don't want to see you again._

_Sincerely, Kagome."_

Maybe that was a bit harsh,

I _know _that was a bit harsh, but it had to be done.

I'll let these tears drain out until there is nothing left, and then I'll give him the note.

He'll think I hate him.

At the same time, these stupid emotions of mine won't be a burden.

They'll be locked away, painted with makeup, and disguised.

I'll wear a mask, afterall he taught me well.

I can do this just as well as he can.

Let's play hide and seek, lovely. I'm pretty damn sure...

**h**_**e**_ _wo__**n**__'t_ **f**in**d** m**e**.


	7. He's Not Mr Pibb

**Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha, nor any place, brand, band, series, or label I may write about.**

**Warning: **Not much yet, a bit vulgarity maybe, other than that. it's pretty safe.

* * *

**Chapter 7:**

**He's not Mr. Pibb**

* * *

_I watch._

_A girl with hair as dark as mine is crying._

_She sits curled up by the doorway._

_I hear screaming, a terrifying bang on the wall, and bizarre laughter._

_I watch the girl continue to cry, I want to go over and do something but I feel like I am frozen in place._

_One, simply one creak from the floor and I'd be done for._

_So I stay, staring at her from a distance, doing nothing at all._

_*_

"Kikyo? Are you in there, darling?"

_"What is it, Miss Kaede?"_

"Will you please stop by the market and pick up some spices for me?

I forgot to stock up when I left to the doctor this morning."

_"Sure thing."_

"Thank you, you are such a sweetheart.

The list is on the counter next to the coffee pot."

I walk over to the kitchen and tuck the shopping list into my pockets.

Oh, how I hope Inuyasha stops by today!

All this has been kind of awkward, to say the least.

I came back to Tokyo, only to have everything change from what I remember it used to be.

The bookstore where we used to have stories read to us is gone.

I remember how Inuyasha and I would hear stories of demons and priestesses from the local book keeper.

**A**_nd_ th_**e**_n, t_he_**r**e's th_**a**_**t** **gi**_rl._

She was never part of our circle of friends before.

Where did she come from, I wonder?

I can't help but feel like I'm interrupting something.

Like, I shouldn't have came back at all; I'm disturbing the flow of time.

Maybe, it's just in my head,

but I can't help but feel sorry for her.

She and Inuyasha had built this life.. for the past three years nonetheless!

It's not _my_ life anymore, is it?

**A**_**m**_ I _st_**ea****l**ing _**th**__is_ fr_**o**_m **h**er?

No, I can't be. He's kept his word and stayed with her.

Maybe everything is fine, I'm just over thinking things. There's no way he still feels the same, not now.

We're just friends, right?

_"Inuyasha!"_

I quicken my pace to catch up to him.

He's at the soda machine, probably buying his usual Mr. Pibb.

"Hey, Kikyo."

_"Vault? You're changing on me, kid!"_

"Uh, yeah... Kagome introduced me to it."

_"Yeah? How is she?"_

There's a pause, as I look at him I sense something different.

_"Inuyasha? What is it?"_

**.. A**nd _so_, **h**_**e**_ be_g__**i**_**n**s _t__o_ **t**_**e**_ll **m**_**e**_.

She left him.

She apparently couldn't stand the idea of me being around,

his _best friend_, we are best friends, right?

God, I screwed things up immensely this time. This wasn't suppose to happen.

She was suppose to be _real,_

is one simple setback really all it took for her to simply give up?

Maybe, I could talk her into staying with him?

"So, I guess it's just you and me again, eh?"

_"I guess so."_

I glance at him.

Past all the sorrow embedded on his face, I notice a spark of something else.

What is that?

Wait! It can't be, can it?

"Uh, Kikyo? Maybe, this could start over..."

What? No!

Don't fucking say it!

"..you know, I miss the old 'us'."

The words slip out of his mouth like captive song lyrics,

caged between clenched teeth until now...

"Let's start over,

**let's start over."**

* * *

**Author's Note:** So what do you think thus far? Any suggestions are welcome.

What direction do you see this going; just curious?

xoxoox.


End file.
